Monthly Archives: August 2012

Jealousy Rears It’s Ugly Head

Ironic, because it’s usually someone pretty that makes it come out.

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I am not immune to jealousy.  Some superpowered people seem to be immune to it, but I doubt that’s the truth.  I have even let jealousy and lack of trust destroy a good relationship.  

 

We could be going along one day, happy as can be, feeling confident and suddenly something snaps.

If you find yourself becoming jealous of someone, pick them apart. Not in the way you think.  Pick out the things that you think they have that are greater than what you possess.  Is it their age, beauty, body, success?  People are constantly mirroring back to us what we see in ourselves, or what we lack.

So, what is it?  What are you seeing in them that you long for in yourself?  It could even be their confidence.  Do they seem to ooze confidence?  I have felt insecure many times around a woman who seems to be so self-assured as though jealousy would never effect her.  It drives me crazy.  I’ve even picked them apart in the nasty way that entertainment magazines taught me all to well to do.  “Look at her cellulite, those teeth, she’s not all that.”  These are all things that can be turned right back around on me.  I am definitely lacking perfect teeth, far from it.  I have cellulite on my legs.  Does this truly mean I should lack confidence?

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So what to do when jealousy strikes?  First, we need to prepare for the battle.  I have been thinking lately that I should create a daily mantra and hang it on my mirror, keep it in my purse, wherever I can see it and repeat it to myself everyday.  A mantra to remind myself of how beautiful I am inside and out, how talented, and amazing I am.  A little voice in my head says this will make me arrogant, but in a world that is constantly whittling our self confidence away, it’s nearly impossible for me to become “cocky.”

When this jealousy or lack of trust is turned on our significant other it often seems to come out of left field.  They feel as though they have done nothing wrong, and for most they haven’t.  All we need sometimes is reassurance from them when we can’t find it in ourselves.  Someone to say:  “You are beautiful, amazing, oh so talented, and irreplaceable.”  If that is what you need, tell them.  Don’t destroy a good relationship based on your insecurities.  If they can’t tell you these things, who needs them anyway.    Repeat this to yourself if they don’t tell you.  It’s true.  We are all unique and amazing.  We don’t need a partner to adore us.  We can adore ourselves.  

After all, our opinion of ourselves is the only one that truly matters at the end of the day.

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